When I say “dogs”, I'm talking about dogs, which are large, bounding, salivating animals, usually with bad breath. I am not talking about those little squeaky things you can hold on your lap and carry around. Zoologically speaking, these are not dogs at all; they are members of the pillow family.

# The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. ~ Andy Rooney

# Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~ Ann Landers

# Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! ~ Anne Tyler

# There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~ Ben Williams

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!
'Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal (NOTE: When I say “loyal,” I mean “stupid.”)

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs. ~ Martha Scott

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

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